I keep seeing this flyer up for "WANTED: LEAD VOCALIST!" and when I first saw it I got all excited cause I've been wanting to play some fucking music out here forever. I only read the first line before I had to get on the elevator to go to class but it starts off asking for only male respondents.

FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

I keep wanting to tear down the flyer and contact them just to see what they say when someone with a pussy, maybe, JUST MAYBE, has talent outside of fucking bouncing boobies and being groupies - and the balls to inform them of it.


Otherwise, today I had a little breakdown in MIP II which was totally fucking embarrassing. I don't think too many people even noticed, but I just hate that I can't control my emotions - I'm unable to detect when they're coming and when they do, I'm unable to suppress them. My one teacher emailed me after class, though, asking if I was okay. I was always told that college would be cold and we wouldn't get half of the attention we did in high school. Whether or not this is true, whether or not Columbia is an exception, whether or not I'm just that out there that I make an impact on this one teacher's life - it just made me feel really good that someone cared enough about me to just "check in." Last night my friend complained about not having a lot of friends here. I told her I don't either - really, I don't, lately I've only REALLY hung out with Breanna - but apparently I can't say that because people like me. And sure, a lot of people do like me and tell me how funny I am and how we should totally hang out!!!, but that in no way means they care about me. Sometimes I'm lonely, I really am, and I think that's one of the things that got to me today.

I know, I know, a lot of babbling but very little detail or meat. MOVING ON.